We are always projecting status. How and where we stand. How we end a spoken sentence. What we do with our arms and hands. How we hold our head. Where do our eyes look while speaking. Is there a difference between looking down to the left or right? Distance from the other person. All these things create the perceived status to the other person. The most fascinating thing I have discovered in teaching status in leadership classes is the blind spot some people have about their own status as perceived by others.
All social interactions require a see saw of high and low status for a conversation to continue. Think about the following. “Mike, we really had a great business day today.” Mike: ” This was not as good as yesterday, how can you say that?” “Yes, I guess your are right.” “You know I am right.” What if Mike had taken low status and said “yes it was”. Conversation over! I often have people role play in class taking high and low. In any conversation lasting more than a minute, I have seen people who could not take or stay “low”. They would swear they were low and the class would shout them down. After many attempts and coaching, they simply could not hold low status in a conversation.
How would you like to work with or for this person? Does this person even realize what they are doing? NO! Can they be trained to stop doing this? Yes, if they really want to change. This individuals parting comment was “why should I take low status when I am almost always right when dealing with my boss”. Last I heard, he was no longer working for that company, or boss.
